Michael McAfee - SunSoft PC Desktop Integration - CONTRACTOR (mmcafee@kirin.East.Sun.COM) wrote:

: 		The dark elf gets a soda on ice and sits
: 	by the fireplace.  For those who wish to hear,
: 	he tells a story.

: 		"There was (or there was not, for only
: 	Allah is all-knowing) a court poet named Abu
: 	Nuas.  One day as Abu Nuas walked through the
: 	palace of the khalif, he heard a boy crying
: 	by one of the great fountains of the garden.
: 	The poet asked the boy what was wrong.

: 		"The boy replied, 'I have just
: 	discovered I am but half a woman.'

: 		"'Nonsense,' countered Abu Nuas,
: 	'I have known many women, and you are certainly
: 	not a woman.'

: 		"'Then tell me,' pleaded the boy,
: 	'why has Allah, the merciful and compassionate,
: 	given men nipples?'

: 		"At this, the poet was stunned.  He
: 	had never thought of it before, and could not
: 	think of a good reason.  'Come,' he said at
: 	length, 'we shall ask the khalif.'

: 		"They went before the defender of the
: 	faithful and put the question to him, but he
: 	to was perplexed as to why Allah had given
: 	men nipples.  'Here is what I shall do,' he
: 	said.  'All villages in the land of al-Islam
: 	shall choose their wisest man.  Every hundred
: 	wise men shall choose the wisest among them.
: 	That will provide us with one hundred of the
: 	wisest men in the lands of al-Islam.'

: 		"So it was said, so it was done.  The
: 	hundred wisest men came to the palace of the
: 	khalif, and were put to the question.  They
: 	were locked in an apartment do they might
: 	argue in peace.

: 		"After a few hours, the khalif decided
: 	to see what progress had been made.  He went
: 	to the apartment and asked what decision had
: 	been reached.  two of the wise men came forward and
: 	said, 'Oh, mighty khalif, defender of the faithful,
: 	we are divided equally between two philosophies.'

: 		"'Well then, 'replied the khalif, 'tell
: 	me these philosophies and I shall choose which is
: 	correct.'

: 		"The taller of the two bowed and said,
: 	'We believe, o khalif, that Allah has given men
: 	nipples to provide us with balance, for it is
: 	obvious they have been place symmetrically.'

: 		"The khalif considerd this, and said,
: 	'That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard.
: 	But let it not be said I am an unfair man.  We
: 	shall test this theory.  A rope will be strung
: 	across the river Tigris, which you fifty shall
: 	all walk across.  We shall see how much balance
: 	your nipples provide you.'  So it was commanded,
: 	so it was done.

: 		"The shorter of the two then said,
: 	Obviously, o khalif, that was the wrong answer.
: 	Ours is much more rational.  We believe that
: 	Allah has given men nipples so that when a man
: 	beats his breast in sorrow, he has targets.'

: 		"The khalif considered this, and said,
: 	'You have outdone the others.  THAT is the
: 	stupidest reason I have ever heard.  But let
: 	it not be said I am an unfair man.  We will test
: 	this theory.  You fifty will go into the garden,
: 	where my eunuchs shall see if they can hit your
: 	behinds with paddles when there are no nipples
: 	for targets.'  So it was commanded, so it was done.

: 		"Now the khalif was troubled, for half
: 	the wisest men in al-Islam were up to their
: 	necks in the river Tigris, the other were being
: 	chased in the garden by eunuchs with paddles.
: 	Finally, Abu Nuas came forth and said, 'Let us
: 	ask your wife, o khalif, for she may shed some 
: 	light.'

: 		"And so the khalif, the poet, and the boy
: 	went to the women's apartments, to the chamber
: 	of the khalif's wife, and there they asked her
: 	the question.

: 		"She thought a moment and said, 'The
: 	answer is so simple you do not see it.  Allah
: 	has given men nipples to always remind them
: 	that without women, there would be no men.'

: 		"And on that day, every man thanked
: 	Allah, the merciful and compassionate, that
: 	they were alive on that day.  For that was the
: 	day that all men discovered that they, too,
: 	were but half a woman."

: 		The elf takes a sip from his drink,
: 	and gazes into the firelight.

: 	Michael, the Chaotic
: 	(this story was told to me over a campfire;
: 	I don't know the man's name)
: 	disclaimer:	my employers probably have not
: 			realized they are but half a woman,
: 			probably since most of them are
: 			women, so they may not share any
: 			opinions in this post