>                    HOW COLD IS IT?
>               An annotated thermometer
>          (degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius) 
>      
> +50 / +10
>   * New York tenants turn on the heat
>   * Wisconsinites plant gardens
>      
> +40 / +4
>   * Californians shiver uncontrollably 
>   * Canadians sunbathe
>      
> +35 / +2
>   * Italian cars don't start
>      
> +32 / 0
>   * Distilled water freezes
>      
> +30 / -1
>   * You can see your breath
>   * You plan a vacation in Florida
>   * Politicians begin to worry about the homeless 
>   * Wisconsinites eat ice cream
>      
> +25 / -4
>   * Boston water freezes
>   * Californians weep pitiably
>   * Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you 
>      
> +20 / -7
>   * Cleveland water freezes
>   * San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA 
>   * Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
>      
> +15 / -10
>   * You plan a vacation in Acapulco
>   * Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you 
>   * Wisconsinites go swimming
>      
> +10 / -12
>   * Politicians begin to talk about the homeless 
>   * Too cold to snow
>   * You need jumper cables to get the car going 
>      
> 0 / -18
>   * New York landlords turn on the heat
>   * Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum! 
>      
> -5 / -21
>   * You can hear your breath
>   * You plan a vacation in Hawaii
>      
> -10 / -23
>   * American cars don't start
>   * Too cold to skate
>      
> -15 / -26
>   * You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo 
>   * Miamians cease to exist
>   * Canadians lick flagpoles
>      
> -20 / -29
>   * Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
>   * Politicians actually do something about the homeless 
>   * People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens
>      
> -25 / -32
>   * Too cold to kiss
>   * You need jumper cables to get the driver going 
>   * Japanese cars don't start
>   * Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training 
>      
> -30 / -34
>   * You plan a two-week hot bath
>   * Pilsener freezes
>   * Bock beer production begins
>   * Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof 
>      
> -38 / -39
>   * Mercury freezes
>   * Too cold to think
>   * Canadians button top button 
>      
> -40 / -40
>   * Californians disappear
>   * Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you 
>   * Wisconsinites put on sweaters
>      
> -50 / -46
>   * Congressional hot air freezes
>   * Alaskans close the bathroom window 
>   * Green Bay Packers practice indoors 
>      
> -60 / -51
>   * Walruses abandon Aleutians
>   * Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season" 
>   * Wisconsinites put gloves away, take out mittens
>   * Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby 
>      
> -70 / -57
>   * Glaciers in Central Park
>   * Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
>   * Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste. Marie 
>      
> -80 / -62
>   * Polar bears abandon Baffin Island 
>   * Rhinelander Birkebeiner
>   * Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby 
>      
> -90 / -68
>   * Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
>   * Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
>   * Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer 
>      
> -100 / -73
>   * Santa Claus abandons North Pole
>   * Canadians pull down earflaps 
>      
> -173 / -114
>   * Ethyl alcohol freezes
>   * Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans 
>      
> -297 / -183
>   * Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
>   * Microbial life survives only on dairy products 
>      
> -445 / -265
>   * Superconductivity
>      
> -452 / -269
>   * Helium becomes a liquid
>      
> -454 / -270
>   * Hell freezes over
>      
> -456 / -271
>   * Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90 
>      
> -458 / -272
>   * Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution 
>      
> -460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
>   * All atomic motion ceases
>   * Canadians allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy 
>