> > FAMOUS (so we think) QUOTES:
> > 
> > I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous
> > and give the wrong answers.
> >                               -- A Bit of Fry and Laurie
> > 
> > A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
> > 
> > The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain,
> > involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The
> > hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": 1. fighting;  2. fleeing;
> > 3. feeding; and  4. mating.
> >                               -- Psychology professor in
> >                                  neuropsychology intro course
> > 
> > What is a committee?  A group of the unwilling, picked from the
> > unfit, to do the unnecessary.
> >                               -- Richard Harkness,
> >                                  The New York Times, 1960
> > 
> > Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radio station in Chicago: "Of
> > all the radio stations in Chicago ... we're one of them."
> > 
> > With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three
> > thousand miles closer to globular cluster 13 in the
> > constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who
> > continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress.
> >                               -- Ransom K. Ferm
> > 
> > Madness takes its toll.  Please have exact change.
> > 
> > Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench
> > to pound in the correct screw.
> > 
> > The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
> > The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
> > The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it
> >   cost?"
> > The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries
> >   with that?"
> > 
> > Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had
> > years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet,
> > make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
> >                               -- Dave Barry
> > 
> > I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
> > because I hate plants.
> >                               -- A. Whitney Brown
> > 
> > A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
> > rearranging their prejudices.
> >                               -- William James
> > 
> > Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of
> > tapes hurtling down the highway.
> >                               -- Andrew Tannenbaum
> > 
> > We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom
> > that is in it - and stop there;  lest we be like the cat that
> > sits down on a hot stove-lid.  She will never sit down on a hot
> > stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit
> > down on a cold one anymore.
> >                               -- Mark Twain
> > 
> > There's so much comedy on television.  Does that cause comedy in
> > the streets?
> >                               -- Dick Cavett,
> >                                  mocking the TV-violence debate
> > 
> > If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving
> > an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life
> > without even considering if there are men on base.
> >                               -- Dave Barry
> > 
> > I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist
> > seemingly for the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick
> > writers and even sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer
> > from physical deformities and spend their time dismembering
> > relatives at fancy dress balls.
> >                               -- Editor of the Limerick Times
> >                                  (Limerick, Ireland)
> > 
> > When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
> > 
> > Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom:  No matter how great your
> > triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately one billion
> > Chinese couldn't care less.
> > 
> > 668: The Neighbor of the Beast
> > 
> > Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather
> > straps.
> >                               -- Emo Phillips
> > 
> > Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
> > 
> > Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a
> > mistake when you make it again.
> >                               -- F. P. Jones
> > 
> > Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to
> > learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for
> > their apparent disinclination to do so.
> >                               -- Douglas Adams,
> >                                  Last Chance to See
> > 
> > As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not
> > important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying
> > me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so.
> >                               -- Hunter S. Thompson's
> >                                  Samoan Attorney
> > 
> > When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist,
> > a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the
> > God the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't
> > believe?"
> >                               -- Quentin Crisp
> > 
> > Boundary, n.  In political geography, an imaginary line between
> > two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the
> > imaginary rights of another.
> >                               -- Ambrose Bierce,
> >                                  The Devil's Dictionary
> > 
> > I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick
> > and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up
> > in this country with being sick and tired.  I'm certainly not!
> > But I'm sick and tired of being told that I am!
> >                               -- Monty Python
> > 
> > May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
> >                               -- George Carlin
> > 
> > Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
> > 
> > Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent
> > revolution inevitable.
> >                               -- John F. Kennedy
> > 
> > Life may have no meaning.  Or even worse, it may have a meaning
> > of which I disapprove.
> >                               -- Ashleigh Brilliant
> > 
> > My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
> >                               -- Ashleigh Brilliant
> > 
> > 
> > Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
> > 
> > Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less
> > confusing that way.
> > 
> > Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you
> > think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1.
> > Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President.
> > 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
> >                               -- David Letterman
> > 
> > Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I
> > predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile
> > disease". Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether
> > I embrace your principles or your mistress."
> > 
> > For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow
> > but phone calls taper off.
> >                               -- Johnny Carson
> > 
> > The most important thing in the programming language is the name.
> > A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently
> > invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable
> > language.
> >                               -- D. E. Knuth, 1967
> > 
> > A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when
> > you least expect it.  That would make you quite unpopular in
> > what's left of your unit.
> >                               -- In the August 1993 issue, page
> > 9, of PS magazine, the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance
> > 
> > Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but
> > they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots
> > in the world. Hobbes: Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in
> > the front?
> > 
> > On one occasion a student burst into his office.  "Professor
> > Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this F you've given me."  To
> > which Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the
> > lowest grade the University will allow me to award."
> > 
> > Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts
> > avoiding you.
> >                               -- Old Farmer's Almanac
> > 
> > G:   "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?"
> > EB:  "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air
> > and scatter oneself over a wide area."
> >                               -- Somewhere in No Man's
> >                                  Land, BA4
> > 
> > The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
> >                               -- Plutarch
> > 
> > The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.
> >                               -- Salvador Dali
> > 
> > I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to
> > anyone, but they've always worked for me.
> >                               -- Hunter S. Thompson
> > 
> > Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
> >                               -- Mark Twain
> > 
> > Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of.  It's nothing to be
> > 
> > particularly proud of, either.
> >                               -- From "Basic Sex Facts For
> > Today's Youngfolk" in _Life In Hell_ by Matt Groening
> > 
> > "Time's fun when you're having flies."
> >                               -- Kermit the Frog
> > 
> > Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone
> > wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than
> > one night."
> >                               -- Charlie Brown,
> >                                  _Peanuts_ [Charles Schulz]