> >>>>One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk  with  the  minister  at  the
> >>>>local  church.  "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem:  my husband
> >>>>keeps falling asleep during your sermons.  It's  very  embarrassing.
> >>>>What should I do?"
> >>>>
> >>>>"I have an idea," said the minister.  "Take this hatpin with you.  I
> >>>>will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I  will  motion
> >>>>to  you  at specific times.  When I motion, you give him a good poke
> >>>>in the leg."
> >>>>
> >>>>In church the following Sunday, Jones dozed off.  Noticing this, the
> >>>>preacher put his plan to work.  "And who made the ultimate sacrifice
> >>>>for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
> >>>>
> >>>>"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
> >>>>
> >>>>"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister.
> >>>>
> >>>>Soon, Jones nodded off again.   Again, the minister  noticed.   "Who
> >>>>is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs.
> >>>>Jones.
> >>>>
> >>>>"God!" Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
> >>>>
> >>>>"Right again," said the minister, smiling.
> >>>>
> >>>>Before long, Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister
> >>>>did not notice.  As he  picked  up  the  tempo  of  his  sermon,  he
> >>>>inadvertently made a motion which Mrs. Jones mistook as a signal.
> >>>>
> >>>>Just as the minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after  she
> >>>>bore  him  his 99th son?", Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled,
> >>>>"You stick that damn thing in me one more time and I'll break it off
> >>>>and shove it up your ass!"