Here is a brief "dictionary" to all those really snazzy terms
electronics dealers pull on you...  now you can get the REAL
story on that new stereo...

    NEW                    Different color from previous design
    ALL NEW                Parts not interchangeable with previous design
    EXCLUSIVE              Imported product
    UNMATCHED              Almost as good as the competition
    DESIGN SIMPLICITY      Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
    FOOLPROOF OPERATION    No provision for adjustments
    ADVANCED DESIGN        The advertising agency doesn't understand it
    IT'S HERE AT LAST!     Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
    FIELD-TESTED           Manufacturer lacks test equipment
    HIGH ACCURACY          Unit on which all parts fit
    DIRECT SALES ONLY      Factory had big argument with distributor
    YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT   We finally got one that works
    REVOLUTIONARY          It's different from our competitors
    BREAKTHROUGH           We finally figured out a way to sell it
    FUTURISTIC             No other reason why it looks the way it does
    DISTINCTIVE            A different shape and color from the others
    MAINTENANCE-FREE       Impossible to fix
    RE-DESIGNED            Previous faults corrected, we hope
    HAND-CRAFTED           Assembly machines operated without gloves on
    PERFORMANCE PROVEN     Will operate through the warranty period
    MEETS ALL STANDARDS    Ours, not yours
    ALL SOLID-STATE        Heavy as hell!
    BROADCAST QUALITY      Gives a picture and produces noise
    HIGH RELIABILITY       We made it work long enough to ship it
    SMPTE BUS COMPATIBLE   When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound
    NEW GENERATION         Old design failed, maybe this one will work
    MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS    We got a good deal at a government auction
    CUSTOMER SERVICE
       ACROSS THE COUNTRY  You can return it from most airports
    UNPRECEDENTED
        PERFORMANCE        Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way
     BUILT TO PRECISION
         TOLERANCES        We finally got it to fit together
    SATISFACTION
         GUARANTEED        Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check
    MICROPROCESSOR
         CONTROLLED        Does things we can't explain
    LATEST AEROSPACE
         TECHNOLOGY        One of our techs was laid off by Boeing