Date: Sat, 22 Mar 1997 12:55:11 -0600
From: HowToFoldSoup 
Subject: "Free Money Virus!!!"

     [I got another virus warning last night, so I decided to parody it...fucking idiots...]

     There is a computer virus that is being sent across the Internet.
     If you receive an e-mail message with the subject line "Free
     Money," DO NOT read the message.  DELETE it immediately, UNPLUG
     your computer, then BURN IT to ASHES in a government-approved
     toxic waste disposal INCINERATOR.

     Once a computer is infected, it will be TOO LATE.  Your computer
     will begin to emit a vile ODOR.  Then it will secrete a foul,
     milky DISCHARGE.  Verily, it shall SCREECH with the tortured,
     monitor-shattering SCREAM of 1,000 hell-scorched souls, drawing
     unwanted attention to your cubicle from co-workers and
     supervisors alike.  After violently ripping itself from the wall,
     your computer will punch through your office window as it STREAKS
     into the night, HOWLING like a BANSHEE.  Once free, it will spend
     the rest of its days TORTURING household PETS and MOCKING the
     POPE.

     Some filthy, disgusting miscreant ... some no-good, low-down,
     good-for-nothing DIRTY SNAKE, in twisted pursuit of her own
     sadistic dreams, is sending this virus across the Net via an e-
     mail entitled "Free Money."  What is so terrifying about this
     virus is that you do not even to have to open the e-mail for it
     to activate.  In fact, you do not even need to RECEIVE the e-
     mail.  You do not even need to OWN a COMPUTER.  "Free Money" can
     infect even minor HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES.

     How it does this with straight ASCII code is, frankly, a matter
     of some debate ... but BELIEVE YOU US, if this weren't a SERIOUS
     situation, we wouldn't be discussing it in ALL CAPS.

     So for the LOVE OF GOD, forward this e-mail to all those you
     claim to care about, all those you purport to love. Don't do it
     later! Do it NOW! Now! Now! NOW! NOW! NOW!